One morning, Tabitha woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to be here,” she said. “Go on! Scoot!” But the raincloud wouldn’t budge.

During art, Tabitha tried very hard to concentrate on her picture of a giraffe. But it was no use.

Suddenly, the raincloud wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was kind of fun. Really fun. She sploshed and sloshed. She rolled and dived. One by one, the others came to join in the fun.

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Correction:  Student's sentence   Corrected sentence        Grammar explanation       Better 

One morning, Tabitha woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

This sentence is correct. 

“Hey! You’re not supposed to be here,” she said. “Go on! Scoot!” But the raincloud wouldn’t budge.

This sentence is correct. 

During art, Tabitha tried very hard to concentrate on her picture of a giraffe. But it was no use.

This sentence is correct. 

Suddenly, the raincloud wasn’t so bad.

This sentence is correct. 

In fact, it was kind of fun. Really fun.

This sentence is correct. 

She sploshed and sloshed.

This sentence is correct. 

She rolled and dived.

This sentence is correct. 

One by one, the others came to join in the fun.

This sentence is correct.